PET Scan results...and thoughts

As nice as the Huntsman Cancer Institute is, we are glad it is tucked up by the University of Utah because we never drive past it.  When we aren't there we feel we can live life as normal as possible...

Ash says she knows that her Cancer currently doesn't have a cure, but to live with that daunting thought is too much to think about everyday.  I love that she says she just "puts her Cancer in her pocket and doesn't really think about it until she has to".  She is finding a way to compartmentalize certain parts of her life.  So much of everyday is focused on trying to have her body and mind in the right place to be able to move forward with her diagnosis.  She has changed her diet, sits in a Hyperbaric Chamber  about 5 times a week for 1.5 hours, tries to read good books, and stay as active as possible, she even gives herself these horrible shots that keep her white blood cell count up... all could be small reminders of the cancer, but she is finding away to adapt to her new normal.  I am an impressed husband!

The lonely place on earth

We just finished up with Dr. Sharma and his team.  They shared her results with us and finally after 3 months of bad news, and crappy breaks they said that she is responding very well to the Chemo.  The tumors have started shrinking.  The short term plan is to have 4 more infusions of Chemo and then reassess.

Tasia and Teresa visiting Ash during Chemo

When we walked out of the Doctors office she started to cry...She said she felt so relieved to finally get some good news.  To know that with all the pain and suffering things are moving in the right direction.   We are so new to all of this, but it has been 3 months since she has had encouraging news.  At the same time Ash feels like she shouldn't be too excited, because she will have to deal with the Cancer for the rest of her like, or until the find the cure.  That being said, the goal is to send the cancer into a resting state for as long as possible, and then she will have to resume treatment in some form...as long as it is not spreading she is happy.

Her new moto is "Faith before Fear."  There is so much uncertainty, and fear in life that if you focus on that or live with it, life would be miserable.  Ash is trying to live one day at a time and have faith that this journey she is on is the journey she is suppose to be on.

Team Ashlee and moving forward

It has now been just over 3 months since Ashlee was diagnosed with cancer.  I don't think things have gotten any easier, and I don't know if they ever will, but we are trying to find out feet and figure out our new normal.  

Since I last posted Ashlee has started her Chemo Therapy treatments.  The first time she took Chemo she had a very uncommon reaction to one of the drugs in the Chemo, and had heart attack like reactions and had to spend 2 days in the hospital.  They have since stopped giving her that 

drug (5-FU) which is normally taken over a 48 hour period...and she just gets a small short of it during her 5 hour infusions.  Her 2 following rounds of Chemo did not give her those reactions as she did not have that part of the Chemo cocktail.

I had never seen anyone take Chemo before...I don't even know what I expected...It is such a painful and  scary thought to think about.  I imagined it would be a thick black substance with skulls and cross bones on the Chemo bag.  I assumed people would be crying in pain and loosing their hair on the spot.  Luckily it is not that intense.  Ash gets her port (a port is a direct line to a larger vien, that is placed under her skin and is there until it is surgically removed.  They put the port in so she doesnt have to have an IV placed each time) accessed and they hook her up to a bunch of IV bags, with a bunch of different drugs that make up her Chemo cocktail.  Her Chemo is called Fol-fox.

So far she has experienced an array of reactions, most of them are within about 5 days after her Chemo infusions.  Ash experiences nueropathy (numbness) in her fingers and hands, when she touches anything cold it feels like she is grabbing razor blades.  If she drinks anything colder then room temperature it feels like she is drinking razor blades, and if she breathes cold air she gets the same feeling.  When she cries it burns...not the actual tears, but right before the tears come out of her eyes...it is weird so she tries her best not to cry.  The fatigue is pretty strong for the first 4-5 days after Chemo and then she usually gets about 8 pretty good days in between her infusions which she gets every 2 weeks.  This last time her scalp hurt, and she looses a little hair, but more thinning...Hopefully she shouldn't loose her hair (it is a very uncommon side effect with this type of Chemo)  She gets random pains..different then the pains you and I get.  She gets a shot the day after Chemo to keep her white blood cell count up.  Your white blood cells are made in your bones...as a result of this shot she gets bone pains...they ache and are pretty uncomfortable, but Ash seems to be able to manage the pain and discomfort.   She says sometimes she just doesn't feel like herself...and I know there are more reactions, I just can remember then all.

The other day I could tell she wasn't feeling good, and we were out to see a movie with our kids...I just wanted to take her home to relax, but she said this is what it is...if I don't do things because I don't feel good, I would never do anything.  She is tough, and puts on a face that makes everyone feel it is ok, and she is fine.  

Unless you smoke and chose to abuse your body, Cancer is not a choice.  Ashlee did not chose this path, but she has a lot of choices on how she wants to move forward.  She is choosing to be strong, and live life.  2 days after her last round of Chemo we all went skiing.  She was exhausted after, but was so happy to be out on the Mountain, and with her kids.  I think it was important for her to prove to herself she can still ski.  Those little activities are victories.  For her to know she can still do what she enjoys is so important.  The following week she signed up for a few bike rides.

There are a lot of lessons to be learned from people going through challenging times.  Right now Ashlee's best day probably isn't as good as one of my bad days, but you would never know it.  Every time we walk into the Cancer center everything is so real, but Ash shows up all ready to go.  Her Doctor Dr. Sharma always says he can't believe she has stage 4 colon cancer because she shows up "looking like a model with a good attitude."  

My mom Sherri had this idea to get shirts supporting Ashlee, and surprise her on social media with family and friends showing their love and support.  With Seth Bradley from DNA cycling donating the shirts and many others they were able to pull it off.  Below are just a few of the pictures I was able to copy...there were so many more on instagram that I wasn't able to copy.  We continue to be overwhelmed by peoples love and support...there can never be too much of it GO TEAMASHLEE!

Today I am sitting at Huntsman Cancer institute while Ashlee gets her first Pet scan since being diagnosed.  Normally they would wait a few more weeks to get the scans done, but since Ash has had some uncommon reactions and they have had to change her Chemo regimen they want to see how the cancer is reacting.  If it is still growing, or if the Chemo has slowed it down.  We should get those results in the next few days...so please say a little prayer for her :)

I'll try and be better at updating this blog and keeping people in the loop.